Abuse is not the answer
Just know that no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. Through the dark and light times, you and I.
Unless hsc and I are passionately snogging...
If so then apologies all round yeah?
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Enjoy it if you want
Inspired by the concept of love. That is... twisted love
She didn't understand what it was that welled up inside when she saw him. It was tight and constricting and she relished it. It felt unlike anything else. It was a red petal blooming amidst the withering grasses and fallen leaves. The acceptance from bantering with her friends, the crushing disappointment from another failure, or even the displeasure that bordered on hatred whenever she returned home. They paled in comparison to this emotion she was enthralled by.
She didn't understand what it was that welled up inside when she saw him. It was tight and constricting and she relished it. It felt unlike anything else. It was a red petal blooming amidst the withering grasses and fallen leaves. The acceptance from bantering with her friends, the crushing disappointment from another failure, or even the displeasure that bordered on hatred whenever she returned home. They paled in comparison to this emotion she was enthralled by.
She had thought about it, was it an infatuation? Lust?... Love? What
she was considering was impossible, it didn't make sense; she couldn't possibly
dwell on any perhaps. Because perhaps is the most dangerous of all. It makes
one lose sight of sense and instead chase after hope. The sweet tantalizing
tail of hope that is always a finger breadth ahead. Teasing you with moments of
near-victory before speeding away, laughing giddily at your vain efforts.
She did not dare dwell on a perhaps.
But perhaps...
Perhaps it meant something. That uncontrollable grin that spread
her mouth whenever she saw him. The small actions she planned so she could see
him just one more time. The way her head would turn to follow his steps.
He always walked alone, and part of her was satisfied at this.
Another part of her wanted to change the alone, but that part was the
unrealistic part and heavily buried under layers of realism.
They say everything's temporary, but this... this was something else. It was
frightening how strong this was
and how fast it had taken hold. There was a volcano inside of her, and it was
burning, burning and ranting to be let out, and oh her skin was far too thin to
contain it.
People noticed the change, how could they not. No matter how far
she burrowed, how deep she tunneled inside, they would
notice. She was sick of it. Sick of how they would comment on her age. Tired of
the others trying to
talk to her. Weary of everything but him. Her very own source of happiness. She
supposed she was selfish, he was meant to be always hers. When she saw him
laughing, playing, having fun without
her, she felt pain. Sharp stabbing pins that racked her body along with a sense
of permanent imbalance. They weren't
meant to be.
It was hardly selfish was it; she was only looking out for him.
She dealt with them accordingly.
And so he remained alone, and all hers.
Of course she could never tell him, but there came times when looking at him afar didn't feel enough. She wanted to be there. Stroke his hair. Straighten his tie. Feel his coarse hands brush over her silken ones. See his head tilt in happiness and eyes slit in desire. She wanted to be there.
But it was never her. It could never be.
It was always the same blonde. Or red head. Or brunette. The same sickening beauty, the same detestable laugh, and the hands, the roaming hands. It was sickening to watch. Hands that danced up his arm, cupping his cheek, brushing his lips and twining around his neck. She always made sure to talk them out of it, but it wasn't easy. They would laugh, mock, spit and use those tainted hands to mar her face. Red gleaming nails that looked quite expensive topped off with white tips. Personally she quite fancied white tips, added an air of sophistication.
But they were far from intelligent. Those grunts he kept around they fawned over him and diminished his light. They fed from him, maws gaping, claws outstretched yipping their simple fulfillment.
Oh she talked to them alright.
Talked to them up close.
Labels: storytime
after tomorrow but before today
August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 May 2015 November 2015 December 2015 May 2016
CREDOS TO THIS COOKIE!!
Designer
DancingSheep
Resources
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Bucket List
- Meet Stephen King and profess my love to him
- Backpack through Europe and seem intelligent
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Experience xmas in New York
- Visit an ice palace
- Attend a Barista course
- Learn Italian
- Get a tattoo
- Fly first class
- Exchange love letters with s/o
- Go stargazing and watch the sun rise on the same day
- Make a wish at Fontana Di Trevi
- See fireflies
- Take fireflies home and make them mine
- Eat a legit smore
- Fly a kite
- Run a marathon
- Front row seats for PTX
- Live in another country (3 months)
- Start and finish knitting a full length scarf
- ROAD TRIP
- At least get ranked in league
- Backpack through Europe and seem intelligent
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Experience xmas in New York
- Visit an ice palace
- Attend a Barista course
- Learn Italian
- Get a tattoo
- Fly first class
- Exchange love letters with s/o
- Go stargazing and watch the sun rise on the same day
- Make a wish at Fontana Di Trevi
- See fireflies
- Take fireflies home and make them mine
- Eat a legit smore
- Fly a kite
- Run a marathon
- Front row seats for PTX
- Live in another country (3 months)
- Start and finish knitting a full length scarf
- ROAD TRIP
- At least get ranked in league